


A Comforting Hand

by WanderingAlice



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: M/M, Stormpilot, because these two are adorable, the hand thing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-31
Updated: 2015-12-31
Packaged: 2018-05-10 15:15:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5591131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WanderingAlice/pseuds/WanderingAlice
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It starts when Rey is preparing to leave. Or, more accurately, when she gives Poe a list he likes to think of as ‘The Care and Feeding of Finn”.</p><p>“He doesn’t know much about the universe, and he hates it when people laugh at him for what he doesn’t know. He likes trying new foods - they always gave him the same thing in the First Order, so don’t feed him numian cream sauce, he hates it. He likes feeling useful, or at least wanted. Oh, and he likes to hold hands when he’s scared.”</p><p>(Or - Poe holds Finn's hand. A lot.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Comforting Hand

**Author's Note:**

> I know I already did something about the hand thing with Finn and Poe, but I couldn't help myself and had to do something longer. I just really love the idea that Poe needs to hold on to people when he's scared.
> 
> I have no idea how to write droid sounds as dialogue, so please excuse my clumsy attempt at BB-8's noises.
> 
> Thanks for reading! I hope you enjoy the story. Please let me know what you think!  
> (You can also find me on tumblr as WanderingAliceWrites)

It starts when Rey is preparing to leave. Or, more accurately, when she gives Poe a list he likes to think of as ‘The Care and Feeding of Finn”.

“He doesn’t know much about the universe, and he hates it when people laugh at him for what he doesn’t know. He likes trying new foods - they always gave him the same thing in the First Order, so don’t feed him numian cream sauce, he hates it. He likes feeling useful, or at least wanted. Oh, and he likes to hold hands when he’s scared.”

That last is what sticks with Poe, because it’s something he can do  _now_  for Finn. He can’t show an unconscious man the universe, or take him home to his family’s farm and cook him new foods. But he can hold his hand, so maybe, if he feels it, he’ll know he’s safe and protected. So Poe starts holding Finn’s hand, maybe running his thumb over the back of his hand, or just gently tangling their fingers together. Surprisingly, he finds that it’s comforting, to hold Finn’s hand. Because Finn is so,  _so_  still, an Poe remembers the mess of his back when they brought him in, but his hands are warm and solid in his grip.

Finn’s hands tell a story, and Poe can’t read all of it without his help, but he can understand some. His palms and fingers are callused by years of practicing with weapons. There’s scars on his hands, and Poe spends far too much time studying them. Some are obviously from training, and a few are clearly from his fight with Kylo Ren. But some are mysteries, like the round, puckered mark on the big muscle connected to the thumb that might be a puncture wound. Poe wonders about that one. It looks painful, and he wishes he could have saved Finn that pain. Even more, he wishes Finn would wake up so he can ask him about it.

He doesn’t spend all his time staring at Finn’s hands though. He knows he’s a bit crazy over this man, but he isn’t that far gone just yet. First, he mends the jacket. It’s hard to do one-handed, so he compromises while he’s sewing and rests Finn’s limp hand on his knee. Silence isn’t a natural state for Poe, so he talks, too. He tells Finn stories about the jacket at first, how he inherited it, battles he’s seen while wearing it, what it means to him. He still doesn’t really understand why he let Finn keep it, but seeing him wear it felt _right_. And maybe it felt right to Finn too, because Poe remembers how hot that desert was. Finn had left behind all of that heavy trooper armor, but he’d kept Poe’s jacket, which must have been almost as warm. He could have left it in the sand, but he hadn’t. And that was really why Poe is repairing it for him. It means something to the both of them now.

Finn still hasn’t woken up by the time he’s done with the jacket. By that time, Poe has exhausted all his stories about it, and moved on to notable incidents from his service to the Republic and the Resistance. BB-8 sits at his side, interrupting with a loud trill of binary when he exaggerates (as he tends to do often.) More often than not, his stories become a conversation between him and BB-8.

“So there I was, surrounded by TIE fighters. There must have been at least a hundred-”

“ **BEEP**!”

“Okay, more like seventy-five-”

“Wheee-bip!”

“Fine, thank you BB-8. Fifty. But believe me, Finn, fifty TIE fighters is more than most pilots can handle. But I’m one hell of a pilot, and I knew I could take them-”

“Scree!”

“No, I wasn’t scared. Finn, I really wasn’t scared. I knew I could make it back. But I had to get through the blockade, and that needed some fancy flying. I couldn’t be caught, either, because I was carrying some very important cargo for General Organa. I can’t tell you what it was because it was all very secret, but it must have been life-or-death for-”

“Beep-bip-beep!”

“Yes, BB-8, it was.”

“Beep!”

“No, I know the general didn’t tell us what it was, but it had to have been important for her to send us all the way out there.”

“Squee-beep.”

“Well that’s just rude. You shouldn’t call people that. Finn, tell BB-8 he shouldn’t call people that.”

Poe is interrupted by an aborted laugh. He looks up to see General Leia Organa herself covering a smile, and can’t even manage to feel embarrassed. She had been so sad after… well, after Han and everything that happened on the Starkiller, so even though she’s laughing at him, he’s okay with that. He thinks Finn would be happy to see it too, if he were awake. When she gets control of herself, she leans against the door and smiles at him.

“Don’t mind me,” she says. “I was just coming by to check on him, but I see you two are busy.”

“No,” Poe tells her, “come in. I’m sure he’d love to see you. I was just telling Finn about that run out to Naboo, and BB-8 and I were arguing over what we were carrying. It must have been pretty important for the First Order to send fifty fighters out after it.”

“It was,” she tells him with a straight face, and he can’t be sure she isn’t just yanking his chain. “Life-or-death for the Resistance. Why else would I have sent my best pilot?”

“See,” he tells BB-8. “It _was_ important.”

BB8 trills in response and moves around the bed to rest against the general’s leg.

“Traitor,” Poe calls the droid. BB-8 gives off the chirping sound that serves for a laugh. General Organa’s smile widens.

“I’m glad to see Finn has someone to watch over him,” she says. “I know Rey was worried about him.”

“She was,” Poe tells her. “But the doctor says he’ll be fine, once his spine heals. I don’t think she would have left otherwise. And besides, I named him, so I feel kind of responsible for him, you know?”

The general nods, but her gaze falls to Poe’s hand where his fingers are tangled with Finn’s. Poe feels his face heat. “That’s, uh, well. Rey said he likes to hold hands when he’s scared. And I don’t want him to be scared here.”

General Organa grins at him. “I see,” she says. “I’m glad he has you, Poe.”

“Me too, ma’am,” Poe says. “Finn’s a good man. I wouldn’t be here without him.”

 

After that, other people start to drop by. Most of them know Poe, and simply come in to say hi when they’re off-duty, but some are honestly there to visit Finn. None of them mention the hand-holding thing. Not to his face anyway. Dr. Kalonia can be heard speculating in the cantina at night, telling the story of how he followed Finn in from the battle without even pausing to take off his flight suit, and how even now he sits at his bedside holding his hand. Iolo and Kare joke with him about it when they come visit, but Kare smiles at him when she thinks he isn’t watching, and Iolo squeezes his shoulder on the way out and tells him to stay with Finn for as long as he likes - his squad will cover for him. Rumors fly across the base, though, and though Poe doesn’t know it, he has half the Resistance rooting for him and Finn to fall in love. He’d laugh if he knew though, because he’d fallen from the moment Finn took off his helmet and told him he was there to rescue him. He just doesn’t know if Finn feels the same.

Rapier Squadron takes it upon themselves to protect Poe and Finn. They quietly spread the word that if anyone mocks Poe for holding Finn’s hand, they will answer to his squadron. They’re not subtle about it either, because Poe is a good leader, and if he’s chosen Finn, then they support him. They all feel like they know Finn, even though they’ve never actually met him. He rescued Poe, finished his mission, and then helped save the Resistance. That’s all they really need to know, to know he’s one of them. Anyone who points out he used to be a Storm Trooper is quickly silenced. That’s in the past, and he’s a Resistance fighter now.

 

Rey’s been gone for a month by the time Finn wakes up. Of course, Poe is the first to know. He fell asleep at Finn’s side, their joined hands resting in his lap, and is woken by a gentle pressure on his hand. Finn is squeezing his hand, softly, comfortingly. He opens his eyes, and there’s Finn’s warm gaze resting on his face.

“Finn!” he says, surprised, but doesn’t move to let go of his hand. He’s held it so often now, he feels strange without Finn’s hand in his. “Buddy! You’re awake. How do you feel?”

Finn squeezes his hand tighter for a second, and smiles. “Pretty good, Poe. I feel pretty good.”

 

The hand holding doesn’t stop now that Finn is awake. Whenever they’re in the same room, Finn reaches for Poe. Or Poe reaches for Finn. Or they both reach and meet in the middle. Poe spends all his free time with Finn, helping him with rehab, and getting accustomed to the base. He cooks his own favorite foods for him, the recipes his mother had taught him as a child, and watches Finn experience new flavors with great enthusiasm. He tells him again all the stories he told him while he was unconscious, still with help from BB-8. The little droid has really taken to Finn, rolling up to him and leaning against his leg until he is forced to take a step closer to Poe or lose his balance and fall. Sometimes he does, and it’s only Poe’s grip on his hand that keeps him upright. The rumors continue to fly around the base, bolstered by the fact that Poe and Finn openly walk down the hallways, hand-in-hand.

 

Rey returns, bringing with her the legendary Luke Skywalker. The first thing she does upon descending from the _Millennium Falcon_ is head for Finn. She grabs his hand, and Poe tries not to be jealous as she leads his buddy to meet her Jedi Master. Rapier Squadron notices, and comes to stand beside him. Kare and Iolo flank him, and Kare leans in and whispers “You’d better be careful boss, or your boy is gonna be holding hands with someone else now. And if he does, _I_ _’m_ not gonna be holding yours.”

Poe punches her lightly on the shoulder. “Shut it, Kare. She’s his friend. I’m not gonna get in the way of that.”

“You keep talking like that, and you’re gonna loose him,” Iolo tells him.

“No,” Poe says, with more confidence than he really feels. “I won’t.”

Finn looks back from where he’s meeting Luke Skywalker, eyes scanning the crowd for Poe. When he finds him, his free hand reaches out, and he doesn’t even have to call him over because Poe knows what he wants. He moves forward, coming to stand next to Finn and taking his hand. Finn gives his hand a reassuring squeeze and turns back to the jedi.

“This is Poe. Poe Dameron. He’s the best pilot in the Resistance.”

“Good to meet you, Poe,” Luke says, and for a moment Poe can’t find the words. Luke Skywalker was a legendary pilot with the Rebellion, even before he was a jedi. And Finn had just told him Poe was the best pilot in the Resistance.

“It’s an honor to meet you, sir,” Poe finally says, aware that his face is turning red. Finn squeezes his hand again.

“I’ve heard good things about you,” Luke tells him, and normally Poe would try and make a joke about that, but it’s _Luke Skywalker_ , and his tongue is tied in knots.

“He’s the one that got the last piece of the map that led me to you,” Rey says, and Luke opens his mouth to say something, then stops. His gaze shifts behind them, and there is General Organa, standing just behind Poe, watching her brother.

“Leia,” Luke says, and moves past Poe and Finn to greet her. Poe turns away. This is private, they shouldn’t intrude. He looks to Finn and Rey, and is pleased to see that Finn has released Rey’s hand, though his grip on Poe is still tight.

“Welcome back,” he tells her, and he means it. He may not like competition for Finn’s heart, but he can’t begrudge the man his friend. It doesn’t hurt that he genuinely likes Rey, for all he’s only had maybe three conversations with her. She’s got more spirit in her little finger than many people have in their whole bodies.

She looks at him, evaluating. “Thanks for taking care of Finn for me.”

“I would have done it anyway,” he says, acutely aware of Finn’s hand in his.

“Still,” she says, “thanks.”

Finn tries to glare at them both, but is unsuccessful. “I can take care of myself,” he tells them. Rey laughs.

“Sure you can, buddy,” Poe says. “But you don’t have to.”

 

With Rey back, Poe expects something to change. Nothing does. Rey joins them at meals, and spends free time with Finn, but she’s so busy training that she has little free time. Finn seems genuinely pleased to have her around, but he doesn’t stop spending all his time with Poe, and he doesn’t stop holding his hand. Rey, Poe notices, doesn’t take Finn’s hand again, and Finn never reaches for hers. When General Organa walks up to the three of them with a face full of bad news, it is Poe’s hand he reaches for, and it’s Poe he holds on to as they prepare for yet another battle.

 

The battle ends, and this time it’s Poe that is rushed into surgery, Finn trailing after him like a little lost dog. He wakes to two warm hands wrapped around one of his, and Finn’s eyes on his face. Rey is asleep on Finn’s shoulder, while Rapier Squadron shares the remaining free space in the room. All save Finn are asleep, worn out after a long fight with the First Order. But Finn, who accompanied Rey on a raid to get vital data for the Resistance, looks as if he hasn’t slept at all. He hasn’t had his wounds tended to, either, as Poe can see from the blood starting to leak through a makeshift bandage on his arm.

“How are you?” Finn asks Poe, speaking quietly to avoid waking the others.

Poe smiles, and even though he still feels like shit he answers “Pretty good, Finn. Pretty damn good.”

“You scared me,” Finn admits, still holding Poe’s hand with both of his. “We didn’t know if you would make it.”

“Guess that makes us even,” Poe jokes, and then he sees the tears in Finn’s eyes. “Hey,” he reaches out with his other hand, ignoring the twinge as the motion pulls at his wounds, to brush the tears from Finn’s cheeks. “It’s okay. I’m alright.”

“It’s _not_ ,” Finn insists. “You- Poe, you almost died. You could have died. And-”

“Whoa, hey,” Poe says. “Don’t start that. Any of us could die, at any time. We knew that risk when we swore our oaths to the Resistance.”

“I don’t care if _I_ die, but I _can_ _’t_ lose you,” Finn tells him, and the words chill Poe to the core.

Poe grips Finn’s arm with all the strength he can muster, and he knows he’s leaving bruises but he can’t help it. “Don’t you _ever_ say that,” he hisses. “Don’t ever say you don’t care if you die. _I_ care. I- gods, Finn, just… don’t _say_ that!”

Finn looks taken aback by Poe’s vehemence, so he repeats it again, just to be sure. “Don’t say that. I’m not letting go of you, so don’t you let go of you either.” He’s not sure the sentence makes much sense, but he knows they have him on very strong pain-killers, so he supposes he can be excused, so long as Finn knows what he means to say.

“I won’t,” Finn promises and that’s good enough for Poe. The pain-killers are starting to take him again, he feels himself falling back to sleep. He points with his free hand to Finn’s bandages.

“See the doctor,” he orders, and he thinks he hears Finn agree before he sleeps again.

 

The next time Poe wakes up, Finn is curled up in the chair next to him, fresh bandages on his wounds. He’s asleep, hands hanging limply where they’d released Poe’s when Finn had fallen into unconsciousness. He’s whimpering in his sleep, and this is what woke Poe up. He’s also twitching, moving in the way dogs do when they’re having the fighting dreams. Poe reaches out and takes his hand, and Finn stills. The whimpering fades into a soft snore. Poe pulls their hands onto his bed so he won’t drop them when he falls asleep, and closes his eyes once more.

 

The next day, Poe is released from medical. His squadron celebrates by causing ruckus in the mess hall until they all get thrown out. Finn walks him back to his room. He pauses at the door as if he wants to say something, but simply wishes Poe a good night and turns away. Poe watches him go, and wishes he had the courage to ask him to stay.

Later, he can’t sleep. It’s too empty in his room. His hands are cold, and they feel incomplete somehow. He tosses and turns, but gets nowhere. Disgusted with himself, he gathers up a blanket and heads for Finn’s bunk. His friend lets him in without questions, simply leading him over to the bed. Poe climbs in and Finn follows. Their fingers twine together, and Poe falls asleep with his head on Finn’s shoulder.

It happens again the next night, and the night after that. Finn never asks questions, but the rumpled state of his bed when Poe arrives says that he can’t sleep on his own either.

One morning, Poe wakes up and realizes that this is where he is meant to be. Right here, with Finn in his arms, hands joined together in a physical representation of what has already happened to their souls. He kisses Finn’s fingers, and wonders if he feels the same.

“Good morning,” Finn says, startling him. Poe hadn’t known he was awake. He blushes.

“M- morning. I, uh…” he’s been caught, and doesn’t know what to say. He’s never done this before, not like this, not where it matters _so much_.

“I love you,” Finn says, saying it for him. “I- I think I always have. Since you named me on the TIE fighter, or maybe even before that.”

“I loved you from the moment I saw you in my jacket,” Poe tells him, though that’s not true. He’s loved him since he saw him on the ground at Takodana, fighting for the Resistance to complete Poe’s mission. Or maybe it was that moment on the star destroyer, when he’d taken off his helmet to tell him that it was a rescue. Not that it matters when it happened. More important is what they will do with it now.

“I don’t know how to do this,” Finn blushes, looking away, and Poe squeezes his hand.

“I’ll show you,” he says. “It’ll be as easy as breathing. Just do one thing for me?” he asks.

Finn nods, even as he asks “What’s that?”

“Don’t let go.” Poe raises their joined hands, kissing Finn’s fingers again.

“Never,” Finn promises. “So long as you don’t either.”

“You have a deal,” Poe agrees. And then he leans in and brings their lips together.


End file.
